There are millions of sex experts out there, and not all of them have radio shows. They're called "women," and
they're a hell of a lot more fun to talk to than your average Ph.D. They conduct all their research on their own bodies,
and they're much more likely to let you in on the experimentation. So here's what we did: We we went to the women
first, and asked them what works best. We're talking rockets' red glare here, bombs bursting in there. Then we consulted
the smartest seks docs around, so they could tell us why it worked. Now it's up to you to implement.
"Great lovers don't memorize complicated techniques. They master the simple things that give women pleasure," says
Lou Paget, a sex educator and author of How to Give Her Absolute Pleasure. Here's what she's asking for. The more
you give, the more you get. Simple, right?
"When I'm about to climax during oral sex, my husband flicks his tongue really fast along the length of my clitoris.
A few seconds of that, and walls shake."
Why it works: Most men think of the clitoris as just that little bud under the hood, but it actually extends deep inside a woman's body, explains Paget. When you flick your tongue quickly along its shaft, you're not only covering more territory, you're also creating vibrations that help carry your stimulation beyond the tongue's reach.
How to do it: The key here is to make sure that the clitoral hood is out of the way. Don't be afraid to pull it back gently
and then make quick, darting motions with your tongue as far down along the tiny shaft as your tongue can go.
"I love it when my man makes circles around my breasts with his finger or tongue before coming in for a nipple landing."
Why it works: Like the ripples that circle out when you throw a rock into a pond, concentric zones of sensitivity radiate
outward from a woman's hot spots. "The area surrounding erogenous zones such as the nipples tends to be highly
sensitive, too," says Linda DeVillers, Ph.D., a California psychologist and author of LoveSkills.
How to do it: Begin right at the point where her breast starts to rise from her chest, and spiral slowly inward with your
fingertips until you reach the nipple. Once you hit the bull's-eye, suck and gently bite. To really tease her, try circling in
until you just brush her nipple, then pulling back out for another tantalizing spin.
"All of a sudden, without warning, my guy stops midthrust. Then he goes super slow, entering me inch by inch for a
few minutes. It sets me off like nothing else!"
Why it works: The key to keeping her aroused is to keep her guessing. Predictability really takes away from pleasure –
not to mention that, in the beginning, too much of the same sensation makes a woman go numb, says Paget. But don't
worry, you don't have to do anything fancy to jumpstart her sensation; just stop. "Stopping and restarting a touch or a
thrust builds on the previous sensation, and it lets you skip up a few rungs on the pleasure ladder," says Paget.
How to do it: Pick a thrust and stop -- you can be inside or halfway out or just have the head of your penis touching her
vaginal lips. Catch her eye, pause for a few seconds, and start again. For maximum effect, resume thrusting in slow
motion and build back up to speed gradually.
"Before we make love, my husband often stands in front of me after I've undressed and holds his fingertips right above
my skin. He moves his hands all the way up and down my body. The sensation is unreal."
Why it works: Positive anticipation is a huge part of what turns women on, says Michael Seiler, Ph.D., sex therapist and
director of the Phoenix Institute in Chicago. By levitating your fingers above the skin so they brush those fine body
hairs, you're creating a delightful shiver up her spine -- and making her feel as though you appreciate every inch of her
How to do it: Help her undress (another anticipation stoker); once she's naked, take her hand and stand facing her. Brush her hair back and let your fingertips hover over the surface of her skin. You're where you should be if the fat part of your fingerpad is touching her skin ever so slightly. Now go ahead and run your pads over her arms, breasts, belly, and thighs.
Go to the next page and learn why humming during oral sex drives her wild...
"I love it when my boyfriend hums while giving me oral sex. And when he follows it up with very light finger taps, I detonate."
Why it works: There's a reason vibrators are so popular: Anything that shakes, rattles, or rolls primes a passel of nerves for peak sensation. "Any time you touch the skin with something vibrating, you transmit sensation to a wider area than you would through simple stroking," says Paget. So you're activating twice the nerves with half the work. "Top it off with a direct touch at the right time and to just the right place -- in this case the clitoris -- and you'll probably send her over the edge."
How to do it: Relax your lips (think Mick Jagger) and hum a tune (think "Brown Sugar"). Bring the outermost portion of your kisser in contact with the outside of her clitoris (the hood that covers the little nub) and her vaginal lips. Move your mouth around her clitoris -- very slowly. When she can't take any more, tap gently and in a circular motion with your fingertip on the swollen nub of the clitoris; or give it a few long, languid licks, staying in contact the whole time.
"As he's thrusting, my guy presses hard with his hand right below my belly button. I have the most incredible orgasim."
Why it works: On the belly-side wall of her vaginal canal lurks a quarter-size zone of pleasure known as the G-spot. The reason many women don't think they have one of these secret pleasure buttons is that the G-spot responds only to firm pressure -- and that may not occur during intercourse, explains John D. Perry, Ph.D., a sex therapist. But pressing on her G-spot from the outside while you're thrusting inside can bring her pleasure place into fuller contact with your penis and trigger mind-blowing orgasms.
How to do it: Since the exact location of the G-spot varies from woman to woman, you'll have to play it by feel. Start by gently pressing the heel of your hand into her belly button as you're thrusting. When she screams with pleasure, you'll know you've hit the target.